New Year's Resolutions - it doesn't have to be hell!

 

Every New Year, like around 14.5 million people in the UK (according to thinkmoney.co.uk), I make at least one resolution. Usually it’s along the lines of ‘I will look after myself more’, or ‘I will be kinder to myself’, or ‘I will eat better’, or (last years) ‘I will go to the gym twice a week and Pilates once a week’.

Like everyone else, I start with the best of intentions: I buy all the necessary kit, trainers and outfits and then I write my blog telling everyone how I’m going to achieve this (I do this in a vague hope that making myself enough guilt to that I stick to said resolution).

Obligatory sweaty gym selfie

Unfortunately this is where the similarity with four out of five people ends.  The reason being is that I am the one out five people in the UK that has a mental health issue, making my reaction to resolution failure different.

Most folks will find a ‘reason’ for not having stuck to their resolution; they accept this, hang up their trainers and forget their pledge to run a marathon.  Me? No such luck!

Suffering from both depression and anxiety, I get torn in two different directions. I feel like my very own ‘Stretch Armstrong’ doll in my head!

Take 2016 for example: I joined the gym to improve my

strength and get a bit fitter. I’d stuck at it quite well until about March, when I had my first ‘waiver’. I felt down (depression) so I didn’t want to do anything – let alone roll up to the gym after a busy working day. Then I felt nervous guilt (anxiety) for not going, which in turn made me even more low (depression) for letting myself and my ‘goal’ down. This in turn led to more guilt (anxiety), that I was letting down the people who had encouraged me when I set myself the resolution. And so the cycle continued… until I felt that I’d failed. ‘You couldn’t even keep a simple resolution, Charlotte’. It’s not perfect and so I’m useless!

 

But that’s just it: I’ve realised – finally, after 18 years - I’m not useless. I just have a different approach to making a resolution. Sometimes ‘perfect’ doesn’t have to be the goal; sometime ‘just enough’ is good enough.

My needs are as big as Charlie Brown's

It’s not easy, but of the 14.5 million people that make resolutions, at least 2.9 million of them are likely to have some form of mental health issue. That means that I’m not alone. There are lots of us out there who have this vicious cycle in our heads.

 

Myself and the Miss British Beauty Curve girls in Regents Park

Upshot: Did I join the gym? Yes. Did I go more than three times a month? Yes. Did I take part in the British Heart Foundation Regents Park Run? Yes. Therefore, was I doing more than I was in 2015? Answer: Yes.

 

Ergo: I achieved ‘just enough’ of my resolution to make a difference. Sure it’s not ‘perfect’, but it’s a change and in the end, that’s good enough.

 

 

Sometimes things don't go to plan...

It's been ages since my last post - mostly because I didn't know what to say. Until just under two weeks ago, all had been going reasonably well. Then it hit - 'The Slump'.

I hadn't been expecting 'the slump' so when it crept in slowly and relatively silently, I didn't know what happened until - wallop - it was too late.

Now, anyone who has been anywhere near a diet will understand the concept of 'The Slump': You have a week of being reasonably good with your food consumption and you've kept your fitness levels up, only to find the come weigh in day that you've stayed the same or - shock horror - that you put on. The diet industry try to reassure you not to panic, but 'The Slump' is already at work. Weadling it's way into your thoughts and habits; "Well, if that's what you get for an that hard work, why bother? Go on, have a treat".

Resistance appears to be futile. One cake becomes two, becomes a bag of crisps  (that you don't even really like), becomes two weeks of 'treating' yourself in the hopes that you'll feel better. Until eventually it comes to roost. What have you done? All that hard work - not completely, but partially wasted? And for what?

Whilst you disintegrate into a mascara streaked mess of anger, pity and regret, 'The Slump' takes it rest, smug at how easy it was to make you surrender and gloating that it's won.

Sound familiar?

As I sit here, writing this at the tale end of such a 'mascara streaked' episode, I realise that 'The Slump' didn't 'win' and I haven't yet 'lost'. This is a cross roads:

The easy road is the way of 'The Slump'; paved with cakes, chocolates and the age old, 'There's always tomorrow'.

The harder road is a bitter taste but is the road that starts with writing down your short comings, owning up to your mistakes and resolving that the only real failure is to stop trying...